Week 5

My period hasn’t started. I’m sure my cycles are getting back to normal after being pregnant for 34 weeks. My uterus has 34 weeks worth of endometrium to shed, so I am sure it will take at least 6 months to regulate. I would go eleven weeks between periods once my cycles returned with Jack. But I was breastfeeding. So that explains that. This time I am not breastfeeding. So I did expect that they might return sooner. I have heard that the more fertile you are, the sooner your periods will return after giving birth. Well, after Jack I had my first period after 3 months. With Sybella, I started cycling 34 days after her birth. I must have good eggs. I did experience infertility before conceiving Sybella, but that was due to adhesions in my uterus, so the problem lay with implantation, not the fertilization process. As soon as I had the adhesions removed, I fell pregnant within two cycles. I consider calling my obstetrician, asking him to investigate why my cycles are irregular. The last thing I need now is to experience infertility again. I go through all the reasons that my period would have returned. It’s still regulating itself…stress…post-partum adhesions…my first period wasn’t really a period, it was continued lochia…pregnancy.

Pregnancy???? No. Can’t be. Well, logistically, it could be, but….no. Very unlikely. Sybella took 18 months to conceive. How can we get one through to the keeper after literally one go?

I go to the shops after dropping Jack at preschool. I buy two things. A box of sushi and a pregnancy test. I go home, put the box of sushi on the counter, and the pregnancy test next to it. I look at them both. Which one do I do first? I REALLY want my sushi. If I do the test and it’s positive, I can’t eat it in good conscience. Even though I don’t think the test will be positive, I eat the sushi anyway.

Right, time to piddle on a stick.

So, the test line appeared on the left hand side before I’d even finished. I look at it, thinking I must have it upside down, because normally the control line appears first, which is on the right. But then a second line appears, which is the control line. The positive is so strong, that the test line appeared first, before I’d finished the wee.
It still doesn’t register. I stare at the stick. I ring Kelvin. “There’s a very good reason I haven’t had my period, Kelvin” I say. “What’s that?” he asks.

“I’m up the duff.”

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