Ah, the dreams. Some were about the baby, some were not. I had a couple of dreams bout being abducted and locked in a room alone for years and years. Perhaps my subconcious is telling me I feel trapped? Not "trapped" as such, more like emotionally restricted. Grief followed by and coupled with intense anxiety is enough for anyone. I also had a dream that I had a beautiful baby girl. I took her shopping with my mum and Jack...and I left her in the car the entire time! That was frightfully awful to wake up from. Of course, it is never something I would do in real life! So to dream it was terrible. Especially since I want this baby to be okay, so badly, that to dream that I wasnt adequately caring for her was distressing.
I am due to work for the next three weeks, which I am really looking forward to. I am working (I'm a teacher) four days a week at my old school that I worked at before I left to have Sybella. Unfortunately, a few days before I am due to start, I receive a phone call that Parvovirus B19 (Slapped Cheek/Fifth Disease) has broken out in the school. I am not immune to Parvovirus...I have had my levels checked. Parvovirus does not cause birth defects like Rubella or CMV, however, it can cause the foetus to aquire severe anaemia, which ultimately ends in foetal demise. After speaking with The Boss and the counsellors at Mothersafe, I tell the principal that I am unable to come into work. The chance of catching this virus is too high and I am not willing to take the risk. The principal completely understands, given my history, although we are both disappointed. I really could have used the money and the social interaction...not in that order! I find myself becoming very paranoid about getting ill after the Parvo situation. I am this close to wearing a mask when I go out! I remember being 29 weeks pregnant with Sybella and standing in line at Medicare. A kid was behind me in a supermarket trolley with his mother. He was making odd noises, so I turned around to see what the noises were and he spat on me! I never got sick from that, but worried about it a lot. Another child, while working at school during Sybella's pregnancy, sneezed on my arm and bucketloads of saliva and snot went all over me. If that happened now, I would have a mini heart attack, I know it. 
So as a result, I avoid kids at the shops with any weird rashes, I talk to Jack's kindy teachers and ask them to give me a heads up if any kid comes down with a bad virus. I am going too far, I know it. But cant help it. Jack and I saw this rainbow the other day. I like to think it is a sign that our Rainbow Baby is strong and healthy and getting ready to meet us.
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