Week 30

I have some exciting news.
Rainbow Baby is a BOY!
I knew I said I would find out the sex, then I changed my mind and didnt want to find out...but I changed it back again. I am very very excited and relieved. Here is the story of The Great Unveiling.

Taking Jack to preschool this week, I clicked him into his seat, walked around to my side of the car and well and truly went flying. Somehow, I skidded on the steep gravel driveway in shoes that had no grip, and fell onto my hands and knees, taking the skin off my palms and bruising my knee very badly. I was relieved, however, to miss the massive fresh bird poo that had just been laid on the driveway. Thank goodness.
The impact of the fall, even though I didnt hit my abdomen, was enough to scare me senseless. I trooped on to preschool, dropped off Jack, came home and showered...to wash off the dirt, skin and blood.
I called The Boss, who was away delivering babies or something (how dare those women go into labour when I have fallen over?)
Kelvin ended up calling the beautiful midwives at the Day Assessment Clinic, who told me to come straight in. I sheepishly turned up, and they fussed around me, organising a CTG, ultrasound, blood tests and a visit from a doctor. I had to have blood tests to check for any haemorrage that may have occurred from the impact. I then had the fetal heart monitoring, which was completely normal. Funnily enough, since the fall, Rainbow Baby had been more active than ever. I was also sent to have a formal ultrasound to check for any bleeding, placental abruption or fluid loss. I nervously watched the screen as the sonographer took measurements. I wanted to ask if the baby had any of the same kidney issues that Sybella had, but was too nervous in case she said "yes." Eventually, I closed my eyes and worked up the courage to ask...but it turned out that the baby's renal pelvis measurements were completely within range. I also did not appear to have the uterine "fold" or "sheet" or "band" that I did with Sybella's pregnancy. That helped put me at ease also.
As I watched Rainbow Baby, legs splayed, wriggle around, I noticed a "bulge" between those splayed legs. "Is that...a penis?" I asked hopefully. The sonographer laughed. "Yes, it is."
I exhaled and a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. This is hard to explain in writing, just how I felt during this moment. In an instant, things were "different." The baby was a boy, not a girl. I had given birth to a healthy boy before. And now I was going to do it again. Of course, there was no gender-related reason that Sybella died. She didnt die because of something to do with being a girl. But I was irrationally afraid that my body couldnt successfully produce girl babies...and so I had never found out the sex of Rainbow Baby for fear of it being another girl, and the anxiety that would come with that knowledge.
Also, I was terrified of returning to the same hospital, the same birthing suite, within 10 months to give birth to another girl. It was too...similar. There would be too much emotion and too many memories. Already, knowing I was having a little boy, likened the upcoming experience to Jack's beautiful birth. The one that ended perfectly, with a live baby.
I left the Day Assessment Clinic feeling lighthearted and happy and bursting to tell my news. I couldnt stop smiling for ages. And not only that, my fall hadnt compromised the baby at all.

Now, about this little boy's name...we may have changed our mind. Not sure. Kelvin is umming and ahhing, and although my first choice is Reuben, we have another name in the wings that we are both excited about. It's cute. But we might keep it quiet for now, just so there is one surprise, since I ruined the big surprise of the baby's sex!

See Baby This Week